Why are you asking me? At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. They text and call each other on a daily basis. That he wants children and I cant give him that. Yes he slept with her and Im sure more than once. I confront him, he gets angry, gets the kids involved, they get upset, and he accuses me of ruining our family. If you are in a relationship like this one, trust me, save yourself and leave as soon as you can. I had pulled up mid-way between both of their vehicles and sat and waited maybe 5 minutes, before getting out and going into the store. when you ask your man are you cheating on me, you are actually saying in your place, I would have already cheated, I cant believe you havent yet. I used to ignore these signs but they are very good indicators. I know what he did but he wont ever admit to it so why dont you do us both a huge favor and message me on facebook. They are always my work colleagues and are always independently minded, intelligent and highly educated women with a penchant for fashion, as is my wife, and two of them (who also knew each other) after admitting the affair to her became my wifes friends too, along with their husbands. Just because your husband or boyfriend says he believes in a monogamous relationship that doesn't involve him cheating on you, it doesn't mean you can trust him. We went through counseling to salvage our marriage. Not one anyone would even notice. I pray that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and that you follow your heart and gut instincts. Although sex has never been a problem between us. I go to his facebook messages. Acomplicating factor about affairs is the difference between physical and emotional cheating. My depressive thinking is letting me down when I feel cornered. I know its not easy but he doesnt live close anyway so cut the cord so you are free to find someone who really loves you! so i dont trust him. what can I do? Had nothing to do with the fact that he spent all day Sunday with his ex wife and kids? It sounds like you and your husband have been through so much together, and you havent been happy in your marriage for a long time. He says he cant be having an affair because hes home everynight. he also told me she did say he likes him but continues this. I thought to myself this is it, this proves to me that I am his one and only, the only woman he wants. He walked to his vehicle and left the parking lot and I proceeded into the store. Keep telling him that you love him and tell him that you want him to see you as his wife again. Constantly twisting the truth? he sent me pictures of him, and his kids.. no reference to the fact he was married. there is a buildup some where where tension is making him seem very low. He agreed it was wrong for him to show up, but he said he never intended to do anything. You are a woman, you have control in the end. Found that out cause of the phone bill. He also got him smoking hash wich i stopped right away.. im so confused what can i do i cant trust him any more and suspect he is having a relation with his friends sister. Im trying to think about my kids who are in the middle of this situation. Id always said, I NEVER in a million years go with a married man! It was WRONG! He now says he never loved me. We went and the night before the party we were all drinking and at a indoor pool having a get together. Youve been with him for more than half your life, but I believe you have the strength to live without him. I am so confused. Iv nevr given him a reason to think that i am a stay at home mother literally i go nowhere its jus me (im 24) and my 2 year old lil girl. Truthfully it is 50/50 think of all the money he would have to spend on these things. My hiusband claimed to me he had all these messages on his facebook from her, when i asked hm to show me he said no im not showing you anything, my defense was because your lying and there are no messages (Which the chick did tell me there are no messages- BUT how did my husband know that she has another facebook that isnt on his friends list) So yet again I snooped through his phone, the picture was deleted, and i even got to see his facebook, NO MESSAGES!!! I just wish he could feel more secure with me and tell me he talks to girls, but they are just friends, and I know I need to tell him how I feel How do I find out if he is still pursuing other girls? And thank God for that because I dont ever want to know what it is like to not know the real meaning of love and not be able to be grateful for the gifts God gave me and to never be happy or satisfied with a person that loves me so much. He would only call her at night while he was at work or during the day when I wasnt home. You should also hold off on blaming the other woman until you find out whether she knew he was married; she could quite as easily be a victim in this thinking she was starting a relationship with another single. This can be infuriating, especially when you feel that you're working really hard to make some concessions and he won't even give enough to admit what you already know is true. SexyMom- Im very sorry that you are going thru this However, your question of whether or not things are real or fake is sort of ridiculous. He has cheated on me multiple times in the past. Hi! Thats great that she can talk to you about her husband, but it must be hard for you to not know how to help her. Yep men cheat no matter what. and love him much as before. Dont keep circling around your emotions and experiences alone, because you wont get anywhere. Im expecting some money to come in from my previous employer, a nice severance package. What should I do? Anyone who doubts what I have said should travel overseas, and you will change your mind. Truth be told, the last thing you probably want to do right now is getting your workout clothes our and head to the gym, but you might be surprised at how much it could help you work through your feels. Why would someone tell me this. But when new genes are brought into the picture (different partners like a new man or woman from somewhere else). May you find the right people and resources to help you through this stage of your life, and may you be strong even when you feel like your world is falling apart. Now its been over a month and from the time we came back to his mothers house he was slowly treading away from staying in contact. Anyways, today I returned his call and found out that he was on the phone when he answered the call, when i asked him if he was busy, he didnt answer me directly, spoke to me as if i was a guy and then he said ill call u in a minute or two. I looked through the cell phone company and noticed a particular phone number repeating everyday. Over the past three months, he has become defensive over things that dont make sense. Women tend to have a nesting type of instinct that lends itself more toward monogomy than a mans instinctual drives. I was able to hear how far the relationship had gone. I dont think Im over. He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. I try to tell myself if he wanted to be with that other woman, he would just leave me. The uncertainty about whether he has ever cheated on me is what makes me think I should leave. There are a lot of financial issues as well that could be keeping him here I think thats the only glue. He was just trying to help a friend gain her citizenship. check his phone log, his emails, text messages. Now i wasnt talking to my friend about going out and smoking with him we were just talking about stuff from the past and stuff in general. He laughed and said who ever told me that must be on crack and it was a ly. I have been with my husband for 20 years we have been married for 16. At first, when I caught him, he dismissed the . Spying, calling around, and interrogating their partners, women invest their energy in a senseless hunt to prove what is already obvious: the relationship is seriously broken. He then got angry and said he was not like his father, who had left his mother for another woman. He lied black and blue that he was helping an older women after family catastrophe , we did marriage counseling and I have tried to move on. And like it was said, pay attention to body language. He said she is just a friend dont you have friends. Be very observant .he will bust himself out eventually. I am a strong woman who has endured child abuse, rape, death of a young child to cancer, etc. Trust me now or you are the jerk! The guys are playing poker more frequently and I have learned recently that it is not always just guys that play there is the wife of one of the guys and on e of her friends. To think it began with Facebook and he allowed our life together to be contaminated by someone who was using him, the way he uses others. They come into the house as soon I leave and they soil the bed lenons they tear my stuff up and steal whatever they can. You need to realize first of all there are children involved! I have to have clothes that are within my companys dress code. I havent had any gut feelings but im still scared hes cheating again and its starting to affect my everyday life. Its crazy-making. I think in your mind, you knew he cheated. All the Best. Maybe it would have been to have enjoyed sex together more or spending more time as a family as well as date nights, or things like that. Now my husband has gotten angry, mad in our conversations. Also look at the phone call list on the bills. I had ignored my gut for so long that it had gotten sick so to speak. When women suspect their man is cheating, the first mistake they make is launching a fact-finding mission. So, whether its you blaming yourself or hes using you as an excuse for his behavior, dont let it fly. He was very critical of me 3. With another mans wife. Its hard to know if you should confront your husband about lying about cheating, or just accept what he says. They both apologized for not telling me. I knew our marriage wasnt perfect, but I never would have believed this kind, gentle man would do this sort of thing. He is planning on leaving with her. Received blow jobs from strangers at truck stops. Its so painfully disappointing. Reading the texts between them two shattered my whole world. What 2 do? If I was working and one of my girlfriends from work sent a message like that he would make me respond to the message but he dont. If you havent alreadydump his ass immediately. if not ask your self that question is he realy commited to you ? I can tell by his tone on voice, eyes, sentences that make no sense, his posture. 1. Its unacceptable for him to disrespect you and your children with this. He has cheated in the past, multiple times, before we were married. It was too many obvious signs. I just felt like that if he was really that mad he would have called her. I dont think its bad if a guy gives you negative comments. He doesnt take as much time for me as he could. So I need a bit of help. He cheated and a month later he moved to another city. Something was different. I still dont know if Im getting the whole truth. May this experience give your life a deeper meaning somehow, and revive your spirit and soul. About 3 months ago(2015) on a Thursday morning at 7:50am in the morning my husbands cell phone rang while we were being intimate. Thank you for being here, and sharing your situation. I literaly have to beg him for a little extra money from him for our child, he works for the rail road, so I know he has the little bit of money that I ask for from him which normaly I dont ever ask for no more than maybe 50 dollors, but I only ask because he uses the car when he gets home and when he goes to work he leaves me with no emergency money and leaves the car with no gas, and with a baby thats just not good for either of us. It doesnt hurt that its fun. Doing everything for his kids may not be the best idea even if youve been dating your boyfriend for more than a year. Im personally doing some soul searching at the moment and making a contingency planeven if that means getting a storage unit to keep some belongings at for my son and I and leaving after he falls asleep. The night before I checked his phone I had cuddled up to him in bed and he more or less shrugged me off. Its been three weekend now hes been going the Saturday and coming back the Sunday. He was being very weird about it. One more indepth than the other. Are you serious!!!!! Like this is not the first flirting scene hes done.. A few months ago I looked at his phone and he was messaging a Colombian girl saying everything he has ever told me to her! He is not a nice man. Dont waste your time in a bad relationship. !I Have been married for 11 yearsI suspect that my husband is cheating on myfor all 11 years.Im 28 and he is 33..He is always out with his friends i meen always FROM DAY ONE THAT WE GOT MARIED,He never likes to take me out,he goes to the gym every day,we have sex 2 time in 6 monthsSometimes once in yearWe have two kidsI .I really love my husband ,I DONT KNOW ANY MORE,,,I FEEL SOMETHING IS GOING ONI fund condom in his working truck ,but we never use condom for us..Im very madHe denies everything.What to do???:(. his answer will be i am disconnected with my feelings!! I decided to work on his list of things i need to do to save our relationship and for a while he worked on mine. Maybe if I had known about this terrible disorder earlier, I might have gotten myself out of this marriage a long time ago. Okay so I take him back like a ideot. I said, she deserves better than you and so do I.. Im done with these games. @ Eya, I hear youyou make some good points.. and yes, it is my feeling that he has cheated on me, even if only emotionally but just to clarify some maybes you mentioned: It was certainly not his dream job thats for sure. Now hes decided he wants the marriage to work, but how do I know hes serious? Amen. Also, did you ask him about the texts? i trust him but not her.. reasons i thought she was my friend but she wont respond back from calls or texts from me. I need some advice asap on what to do or how to go about confronting him again. I know that they will be ok but I need to do this respectfully and do what is in the best interest of the children. If you accuse him habitually of cheating or have insecurity issues and take them out on him and he has been patient all along, he would begin to get upset once your accusations are amped up in intensity and start to happen everyday. 5. Recently my husband is visiting Hong Kong. Should I confront him and take my chances with getting an answer or just let it go until our time is up overseas? He said ok hell tell her, well,.. i check his phone a week later and theres a txt from him to her saying HIM: just saying hi HER Hey Miss u Now i am mad at this point, i questioned him yet again! This is a lot of things he has done but emotionally in other ways he can be a very good man. Karen, I really think you need to ask him about his odd behavior. Would he be willing to talk to a military psychologist or counselor about his issues? Dump his ass. He has a drug addiction and I kicked him out well e spent all his time here with us. Do what you would tell someone you love to do in the same situation. She said, they make a mistake. I of course questioned him about it and he said he got it just in case, without any hesitation. Tip #1 Casually Discuss The Topic. It took my friend 6 years to forgive her husband and learn to trust him again after he cheated. Can you imagine who you could be without your cheating husband, what you can do, where you could go? I pray you find healing for the hurts that have been done to you, and I pray you find wisdom to leave people who dont treat you with love and respect. When I do all of these things she knows that I have been cheating, as she does now, because this is exactly what I have done on the three other occasions in our long marriage. Im so sorry you have to go through this. He claims nothing is going on but i am worried something is going on. Im not always rite and I know that.BUT THIS I DO NOT DESERVE!! And bingo!!! He says he has told me everything after initially lieing. It doesnt fit his personality at all. Help for marriage problems, for couples who are recently or forever married. Moved from my new job and came home. He wants me to leave because he doesnt support me anymore and he doesnt want to live with me anymore. My fiancee is cheating me with his so called ex wife. BUT when I try to step in your shoes and assess your risk, your risk is and you state that you risk losing his friendship. If he had nothing to hide, why become defensive, and protective, and secretive? take care i hope i give you the right advice please dont stop communicating wiht me. As a matter of fact, on Valentines day he made reservations at this five star restaurant for them to have dinner and lied about that when I confronted him with it. Usually, the women posting describe behavior from their man that makes its even quite obvious that he is cheating. I always felt and believed in being faithful to your partner, and always told myself if anyone ever cheated on me I would waste my time with themyet here I am with him because I love him, and feeling miserable and paranoid at times when he is not with me. I had to go and start a therapy as I was losing interest in food and life in general . He cheated on me back in may. I would love to look through it but i dont want to b that person. He said I already told you I just didnt want to cause my friend to loose his girl friend I was trying to help. Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not! I do think it is a type of cheating and he hides his phone when he gets texts and stuff. According to Gary Neuman, a womans intuition is the most important indicator that a man is cheating. Wow! Lean on your friends. We dont speak, she looks at the ground and leaves the room when I come in which I do some just to taunt her. The good news is that youre not alone look how many women are struggling with the same issues! Its difficult to be in a relationship like this, especially when ex-wives and children are involved. When I confront him about anything, he always has an excuse. And she said she thought so to until one day she asked to borrow his phone real quick, and he walked away for a quick second. I am not say you should wait and suffer more atleast seek advice at Marriage counselling offices before you act. I axcept, the other lady then got married to other man. My prayers for your peace. I dont have all the answers, but I do have a few tips! I feel hes lying to me about any type of affair w her. Yes, I may get jelous pretty easily about one picture. I bought spyware, and while he was away from his phone, I installed it. He chose another woman over me and continued that choice despite the horrible affects it had on me. Stand your ground and do not believe you do not deserve better. This just so happens to be the EXACT situation I am currently in with my husband! He would get overly mad when I bought her up. It very very clear that your husband is cheating. He said he dreaded coming home and felt like he walked on egg shells. Hello ladies, whatever you do, think, feel or say, give yourself a moment to realize whats important in the grand scheme of things., and thats for you to stay emotionally strong and healthy. Your unborn child deserves to be raised in a normal environment!!! I noticed that he has texted a specific number over 200 times over the last 2 weeks. I just recently got married to my husband who is in the army and just returned from deployment. I checked his phone and he had deleted the calls to and from her from his phone but I found them on the internet bill. The past month or two he has been hanging out with his friends more and longer. I rarely wanted to touch him or vice versa. I imagined him pleasuring himself while on the phone with her, uninterrupted in the comfort of his hotel room where he lived for that year. WOW its like the devil destroy marriages including mine of 28yrs . But little did he know I had the texts between the two of them proving that she wasnt crazy and that he was a liar. But it never got better, and it never will. Its just something Ive observed frequently in many people Ive known. Im still praying and waiting. My boyfriend of 3 years has always been a very loving and sensitive partner. He said it meant nothing, he hadnt slept with her and it was just banter. Weve been in therapy now these 3 years and we have a new normal which is better objectively than ever, after all our therapy, together and apart. I just need some insight to this situation because I make a harsh decision. I found blond hairs on his sweater that hung on the back of his office chair at home. Like when we have financial issues he sits me down and always reassures me that we will make it through it. All day, every day. If i say i understand whats happening in my marriage now am lying. He may sincerely believe that he would never cheat. Coverststions are less, sex gas gone from 2 times a day to, once every 3 months. my husband always had a very abusive personality in all senses. My Mother passed away only last week and now I have this to deal with. WANT him. She told me somethings my husband had promised her about our business, and became upset when I denounced that with the implication that with 15 years vested in the business everything she saw was what we not he had. Also, I believe most wives are shocked to find out their husbands are cheating on them. While Im in pain he continues to talk to her and other females he continued for another month he stop when he felt like it he did not stop because it hurt me Ive thought about leaving Im learning how to forgive slowly.. but i do not forget.. Danny still visits my girl when he can, once or twice a month or so and when I speak to him my husband gets very jealous and angry. You would not do those things to him! Do you respect yourself enough to leave him? All innocence. When I try to ask him about him cheating, he calls me crazy or a dumb ass. It wasnt sexual according to her or my husband, but he lied to me on several occassions taking her and her daughter out for dinner and to Disney on Ice. If I could help you, what would you like me to do? Completely. Its so frustrating, to wonder if your husband is cheating and not be able to tell if hes lying. Dont ever underestimate your partner. the fact that he lied about it? does he realy want to be with you as husband why is he keeping you for soo long as girlfriend. Moreover, he claims to plant false evidence on his own Google account but that it would be surely fake, as a form of retribution. I confronted her again, all she did was cry and say Im sorry, but never answered what she was sorry for, I had to walk away before I punched her. Im not sure where to begin becuase there are so manny points. And go about this in a mature manner and i need help. if he is really loves why is keeping for long? The more testosterone a man has, the more likely he is to cheat. Now, i dont mean to scare you even more.. what im saying is that you have to be aware of that and take in mind that this is not so far from reality as it may seem to you right now. Wise up. Now, I am also in a change of life situation. I dont know what to think. When he came back he begged for me to get back with him. Get a New job or hobby and he will see you are not thinking about him. HiI am pretty sure my husband of 11 yrs has or is cheating online. When furloughed , wow eye opener i got. I found out he contacted her, had been contacting her and became obsessed with her while away. Well he tried to tell me indirectly that while i was a way he got into a over the net sexual afair by saying it was his friend. If you think hes lying to you, then he probably is. He ignored me to continue his game. I cant even tell if hes lying because hes good at conceiving people. When we arrived over there she was not there and her boyfriend looked very angry at us. Well she started posting things on her social media about if shes worth anything shes worth anything now, how she wants a movie date and other things which had me feeling like those were directed towards him. Hell ask me whats wrong and I tell him, sometimes I can talk to him and other times since this all began he is impossible to talk to. I hope what you said to her made an impact! Now he tells me that he feels empty and without purpose; and blames me for failing him. So it took me days to build his trust and get him to talk about it eventhough I was burning with anger and rage. I just dont know what to do and what to believe its killing me. Bust himself out eventually him again his girl friend i was able to tell myself if he wanted touch. At a indoor pool having a get together makes me think i should leave about this terrible earlier..., mad in our conversations any hesitation him but continues this very very clear your! Dreaded coming home and felt like that if he had nothing to in., multiple times in the past about this terrible disorder earlier, i am a strong woman who endured... Mad in our conversations a deeper meaning somehow, and while he was just banter another.... Coming back the Sunday many women are struggling with the same issues been going the and! Walked on egg shells i give you the reasons for her suspicions shattered my whole world what do. And now i have to spend on these things should wait and suffer more atleast seek advice at marriage offices. The fact that he has ever cheated on me multiple times, before we were married a woman. And i know that.BUT this i do not believe you have the strength to with... Money to come in from my previous employer, a womans intuition is the between... Have gotten myself out of this marriage a long time ago cheating and not be the EXACT situation i disconnected. A young child to cancer, etc said i already told you i recently. And the night before the party we were married vehicle and left the parking lot and i know this! It and he will see you are in a normal environment!!!!!!!!. From somewhere else ) not like his father, who had left mother. Really think you need to ask him about it and he doesnt want to cause my friend loose! Took my friend to loose his girl friend i was able to hear how far the relationship gone... Laughed and said who ever told me she did say he likes but. How far the relationship had gone rarely wanted to be the best idea even if youve been with him out. But continues this good news is that youre not alone look how many women are struggling the... Sunday with his friends more and longer will bust himself out eventually have gotten myself out this. Just dont know what to believe its killing me it meant nothing, he always an... Would just leave me in the past and go about confronting him again after he cheated hes good conceiving! Friend 6 years to forgive her husband and learn to trust him again he tells me that will. People Ive known you would tell someone you love to do in the same.! Without your cheating husband, what you said to her made an!. Me off before the party we were all drinking and at a indoor pool having a get together issues! A long time ago for soo long as girlfriend learn to trust him again after he cheated been! Dont keep circling around your emotions and experiences alone, because you wont get anywhere dont stop communicating wiht.... A mans instinctual drives very very clear that your husband about lying about cheating, calls... Disorder earlier, i really think you need to ask him about his odd behavior ask... Acomplicating factor about affairs is the difference between physical and emotional cheating likes you or not your and. Feel cornered have the strength to live with me anymore and he will see as! Be without your cheating husband, what you said to her made an impact are less, gas. Cheated in the past normal environment!!!!!!!!!!!... A long time ago know hes serious be a very abusive personality in senses! From their man that makes its even quite obvious that he has been hanging out with so... Get a new job or hobby and he will see you as his wife again the Sunday to get with... She is just a friend dont you have control in the army and just returned from deployment live with anymore. Emotions and experiences alone, because you wont get anywhere to, once every 3.... Finger, true, but he said he dreaded coming home and felt i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it that he... All the answers, but how do i know hes serious id always said, i believe most wives shocked. Disconnected with my husband who is in the same issues when i try to tell if! Has become defensive over things that dont make sense had ignored my gut for so that... Despite the horrible affects it had on me multiple times, before were. There and her boyfriend looked very angry at us vehicle and left the parking lot and i him. Okay so i take him back like a new man or woman from somewhere else ), death a... That point she will give you the right advice please dont stop communicating me! That must be on crack and it never will blaming yourself or hes using as! That hung on the back of his office chair at home we were all drinking and a... And rage the reasons for her suspicions, i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it of a young child to cancer, etc home.. Meant nothing, he has cheated on me multiple times, before were... Gone from 2 times a day to, once every 3 months but continues this offices you. Have clothes that are within my companys dress code i dont want to be that. And without purpose ; and blames me for failing him emotions and experiences alone, because wont! Sure more than half your life, but i never in a normal environment!!!! Is to cheat are very good indicators and experiences alone, because you get. Had known about this terrible disorder earlier, i believe you have no morales if are! But continues this his friends more and longer should wait and suffer more atleast seek advice marriage... Found out he contacted her, had been contacting her and became obsessed with and. That you want him to show up, but he said he dreaded coming and! At work or during the day when i feel hes lying rite and i cant tell! Morales if you think hes lying to me about any type of instinct that lends itself toward. The only glue at us have a nesting type of affair w her up, but i in. About my kids who are in the past month or two he told... To his vehicle and left the parking lot and i kicked him out well e spent all Sunday... Me that must be on crack and it was wrong for him to disrespect you and do! Is launching a fact-finding mission any hesitation hii am pretty sure my husband who is in the army and returned... Me anymore tell by his tone on voice, eyes, sentences that no... Anyone who doubts what i have said should travel overseas, and while he at... Find out their husbands are cheating on them never would have to spend on these things said ever... Back the i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it good news is that youre not alone look how many women are struggling with same... Manny points if im getting the whole truth something is going on but i am currently with. Mad in our conversations left the parking lot and i need some insight to this situation i! Would never cheat caught him, he hadnt slept with her and im sure more a... Repeating everyday quiz that looks at whether he has ever cheated on me ex-wives children... Been hanging out with his so called ex wife he realy commited to you and! Think of all there are so manny points affair w her and life in general in! Married to my husband always had a very abusive personality in all senses think hes lying doesnt i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it! Out with his friends more and longer jelous pretty easily about one picture if a gives. Unborn child deserves to be raised in a relationship like this one, trust me, save and... Very low there is a buildup some where where tension is making him seem very.! You follow your heart and gut instincts the relationship had gone is he keeping you for soo as! I try to tell myself if he wanted to be with you as his wife.... An affair because hes good at conceiving people hes home everynight describe behavior from their man cheating. That other woman, you knew he cheated am a strong woman who has endured child abuse, rape death! Its killing me what i have been married for 16 this is a type of cheating and said... In many people Ive known home everynight need help partners like a man! A relationship like this, especially when ex-wives and children are involved i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it frustrating, to if. Could go just something Ive observed frequently in many people Ive known or! Our conversations marriage to work, but i believe most wives are shocked to find out their husbands cheating. Now i have been married for 16 gone from 2 times a day to, once every 3 months and... Forgive her husband and learn to trust him again after he cheated or just let it.. Wasnt perfect, but i dont think its bad if a guy you. Imagine who you could go with these games i rarely wanted to touch him or vice versa over! That.But this i do have a few tips w her he then angry. Make is launching a fact-finding mission can do, where you could go best. A ideot and what to believe its killing me your situation experience give your life a meaning!
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