Crystal Newman Kavulu, a radio personality shared her thoughts on whether it is necessary to abandon your single friends once you get married. A woman in her 50s, however, has less to prove. If a married man is falling in love with you and especially if he wants to act on it, he is very well aware that his feelings are not something he should be proud of. Theyre more attracted to your heart than your looks. A player! Being friends with the opposite sex can only lead to the odds of infidelity to rise considerably. One of the biggest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he makes intense eye contact even when hes already got her. I feel so betrayed and he refuses counseling or talking about it. Typically, shell busy her schedule with activities she enjoys. If this woman in her 50s is divorced, she knows that Prince Charming isnt necessarily going to knock on her door and save her from lifes biggest responsibilities. He can be good at cloaking it or laughing it off. Once a certain point is reached, how do you put up a road block, youre already there! ", Explaining further, she shares that "your partner comes first.". Women in general have a wonderful intuition, and if a woman in her 50s has been single for long enough, shes pretty much seen all types of men and women cross her path. I knew absolutely nothing about her. Whether he catches your eye with a lingering glance, or stares right at you, both may be signs hes interested; even more so if he shoots you a coy smile as an accompaniment, writes Michelle Stevens. And if he gets deep into the emotional baggage and all the rest of it then theres also a good chance hes falling for you. A married woman, for instance, knows that her responsibility after work is to go back home to tend to her husband and children. The problem probably sets in when one fails to blend in and feels out of place. He'll bring it out in the open, because he doesn't want to believe that he is actually going to cheat. He should be home with his family. He'll say things like, "Wow, my wife just doesn't listen to me like you listen to me," or, "She just doesn't understand me. And even better, theyre happy with the arrangement. Recently, one of his female friend who he has known for 25 years has reappeared a year or so ago as a friend. You can read more about me. When a married guy truly listens to you and wants to know about what you care about and what drives you then hes thinking of you as potentially more than an affair partner. Hes probably doing more than just trying to get you out of your jeans. He told her personal things and private things. It is not right when a wife meets a single guy without her husbands knowledge. Pretty much, theyre into what youre actually like, and not the fact that you have a gym membership. In fact, its possible shes not even into the idea of marriage anymore. All of those things should be red flags, but most of us are busy with life, and if he hasnt done this before, we trust him. I never worried about it. How A Married Man's Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs On the surface, he looks like the All-American dad; on the surface, he looks like a great husband; on the surface, he tells Before an affair, many of us dont think about specifically setting boundaries about opposite sex friendships at work, online or anywhere else. In most cases of inappropriate friendships at work, soon the friend starts not only being available during work time, but also during lunch breaks and after work. WebI am in my mid30s and have been single for 6 years. It's always a good practice, though, to try to meet the spouse. Most of them are involved in different developmental projects which I am also motivated to partake at a certain time in my life. But what do we do when we get married? 17 Jan 2023 19:14:49 A married woman who confides with a single man is forging a deeper bond with that single man. He could just be a classic Cassanova, but at the same time, its more likely that hes putting on a bit of a show with you. Hes in it for you, and he doesnt want to see another guy come to snatch away the treasure that hes found. Just imagine spending time with a single friend who is often speaking ill of your partner. He also had irregular hours, so I could have been fretting about that all the time, too. This rule advises men not to spend time alone with any woman who is not his wife. It can be deadly for the marriage. Its a standard fact that guys get a little jealous when someone is around the woman they like. She is an actress, known for Akai hatsuj: Mash no kaori (2014), Amazing Sucking Slit-Mouthed Woman is Real (2011) and Yaru otoko (2015). 8 Things to Know About Single Men Over 50, Mature Women Dating Habits You Should Know, What Single Women Want According to Online Dating Data, What Older Women Dating Today Really Want. She seemed to know every little fault of mine, and every thing he was dissatisfied with in our marriage. have thought about it because that is what he did. A married woman who includes her partner with her and her single male friend is not hiding anything from him. "There is no way I wouldtell my husband who he can and can't talkto and vice versa," says Michelle W. "I've even met up with an old school friend (male) for coffee. Should married women discuss marital issues with their single friends? A single woman in her 50s and beyond is well aware of this, and doesnt expect you to have rock hard abs either. Men who are married agreed on the subject, which is probably the smart thing to do when youre married. They're not going to leave their wives. Im not ragging on marriage by any means and it can be an amazing thing for some folks, but my point is that a guy whos hitched can be really drained of energy. And shes likely made a few lifelong friends as well. I didnt. This means that hes not just passing time with you or in it for some physical or distractive reasons. Its even acceptable to be just friends with new guys during a marriage. He may tilt his head sideways as he thinks about what youre saying or find reasons to make physical contact, such as touching your hand and bumping your shoulder, writes Sarah Khan. Her idea of family is a little less traditional, but that means she gets invited to no less than three Thanksgiving dinners every year. Your email address will not be published. My own ex husband started talking about our relationship with his opposite gender friend. Many readers believe that if your husband wants to cultivate a friendship with a woman, whether a colleague or someone from his past, he should invite you and the woman's spouse (if she has one) to dinner or into thecircle of friendship, too. Women at this stage often have never married for certain reasons (like a busy career) or have separated from their partner due to death or divorce. It is a response to the pulls of nature, including loneliness. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. After all, its not like there are no single women in the world. They talk such a good game, but in reality, they're living a compromised life. There are ways that men try to act more confident physically, but sooner or later you will see the truth shine through in how they move and orient their body. And now they find themselves "stuck" in a situation that's displeasing and less than what they know is possible. Despite this, however, if you always work hard on your marriage, you can always overcome any kind of obstacle you meet along the way. It doesnt mean that humans stop being attractive as the years go by, but bodies naturally change with time. When hes just cruising by for a fling hell often skimp on the eye contact. A woman in her 50s will probably be open to fun dating activities and unique ways to connect, but they might not like your brand new way of cooking ham on Christmas, or other methods of cleaning, organization, and general living. It was not immediately clear what he was suffering from at the time of his death. Connect with a single girl here today! As this bond grows stronger so might her feelings for her single friend also grow. Now that I have your attention, here are 5 things every married man should do around single women. Give (and expect) the benefit of the doubt. Yet, these men aren't just friends with women. If this was just a hookup he wouldnt much care about introducing you to those he cares about. As you can see therefore, married people live totally divergent lives, meaning that singles do rarely have a bad influence on them. In case you realise that you no longer share the same kind of interests with your single friends, it is better to at times do away with them for the sake of peace of mind. A married woman who confides with a single man is forging a deeper bond with that single man. Is that wrong? suggests that males and females cannot be friends, and its all down to perception. 11 Core Values in a Relationship and Why They Are Important, When to Let Go of a Long-Distance Relationship and How, 8 Signs Youre Not Sexually Compatible and How to Handle It, How to Overcome Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, Lack of Communication in a Relationship: Causes, Effects, and Tips, What Makes a Man Want to Protect You? One of the main signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that hes very interested in your dating life and gets a bit jealous of guys hitting on you. Married men that Ive met are usually pretty worn down and frazzled. Of course not. Before you know it the friendship has crossed over from a platonic one to a sexual one. I agree to a certain extent. He knows they are not going off in secret chatting about him or the marriage. Shes at an age where shes lived a pretty rewarding life so far, but shes still eager to see whats ahead. I just didnt. Plus, just because a woman is childless herself doesnt mean she doesnt consider her sisters teens like her own. Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you! relationship with his opposite gender friend. She believes in forming true connections with people, but isnt necessarily in a rush to replace her husband. Is it acceptable for a married woman to be just friends with guys? I think almost all married people have friends of the opposite gender while married. In the morning, evening, late at night, on ordinary days and even on special days and holidays. "Hetold me they are just friends, but he has been leaving me to go hang out with her," she frets. My husband said I am over-reacting. In reality, it is probably good advice. But he's lonely. This type of guy clearly has commitment issues. But he's not. But the fact that hes even remotely speculating about what the future might hold in a way that doesnt talk about his wife means hes likely got some serious feelings for you. I dont want to check up on him I feel a little crazy.Read more , Thank you for this article. Give me a break. Most of ones peers are married with established families at this age. Some guys are very smooth talkers who are pros at roping a woman in as part of their emotional games. Men are often more likely to have inappropriate friendships or affairs with younger co-workers below them on the totem pole. Thats part of the thrill. It did not change much because most of my single friends, who happen to be around my age bracket, also have children, despite not being married. This is my sixth year of marriage. However the friend arrived to our business to help and was very over-familiar. As a married man with a career, hes likely quite busy and thats even more true if he has kids. Include one another in the friendship. I trusted my then husband. She is being upfront about their friendship. Im here to help you figure out if hes just after a fling or whether he wants something real and long-term. If you disagree on important items hell do his best to be understanding and gracious. Its actually one of the top signs a married man is in love with a single woman. They're looking for an affair, whether it is mental, emotional, physical or all three. Ideally, they say, the members of a couple should be able to maintain individual friendshipswith the opposite sex, but in reality, a friendship like the one Krista's husband is developing is often a slippery slope. Truth is that even if our wives keep silent about it, they will not want us to hang out with other women, especially without them. Then again, there are some married females who are secretive about the time they spend with their male friends. He'd rather have somebody that would be a great mother than someone with great passion because 'passion dies.'. One of my closest friends and her husband, had a couple friendship with another couple all the way through college and even post-college. I've met a lot of these guys. Anyway, recently she texted me regarding her dog being sick near death and I had texted her back asking her how the dog is. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. We have a lot of friends, both married and single, back in Jax. For one reason or another, its clear theyre not getting their needs met in their marriage. Here, readers share some ground rules for a spouse's opposite-sex friendships. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. But some of us reading this blog are getting divorced or are already divorced because our husband had a friendship when we were married that became an inappropriate friendship, and then an emotional affair and finally a full-fledged sexual affair that destroyed our marriage. Typically, shell busy her schedule with activities she enjoys. Hes no passive observer or occasional male talent showing up to rock her world. I did not think of it as anything, but I know if I show my wife, it definitely will set her off. Friends continue to drop like flies because they keep getting hitched. The older you are, the harder dating typically seems. You would think that in the 21st-century men and women could be just friends regardless of their marital status. It will be easy to tell that he doesnt want to lose you and wants to try to see things from your point of view. Just be yourself, and itll go a long way. Being open and honest about interactions with friends of the opposite gender when we are married usually removes the worry and maybe even the likelihood the friendship will lead to an affair. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. If theyve been single for awhile, theyll be the most independent women youll ever meet. Please dont let your spouse or partners engage in this lie. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. In reality, it is probably good advice. Single friends, on the other hand, may not really understand the institution of marriage in that they may not keep whatever you have told them as confidential. In contrast, Jill says that, in her marriage, both she and her husband have friends of the opposite sex. This is effecting me in all manners of living Wehave had avery good marrage apart from this. A married man who likes you more than a friend will find ways to be closer to you physically. Or going out in the garage or the yard to talk. Friendship can lead to flirtation, and what once seemed harmless can grow and grow. And it's really nice to be with a woman that does.". And she probably tries to attend all of themor at least FaceTime every group to wish them a happy holiday. Theres no physical intimacy but emotionally you feel connected. The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. They cannot stand to see most of their age mates wedded and having children while they stay single. So its entirely possible that we will have accumulated best friends along the way. When you think about it, our spouses often spend more waking hours with their work companions than they do with us. Setting boundaries. It is very difficult because married people have different priorities from singles. Required fields are marked *. She said that if I wanted to stay married, I needed to hang around the right people, namely, "married and coupled people." We are always looking for ways to improve our stories. Or starts leaving for work earlier and coming home later. Married people should know that after tying the knot, there are single friends they will lose because they no longer share anything in common with them because naturally, they will cease being similar. For those whore looking to discover a dating site for over 50s, it might be hard getting back in the dating pool the whole dating game has changed so much since the last time you were here. Shortly afterwards, I had my first child. One of the top signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that his schedule opens up for you as if by magic. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? "The rule in our marriage is what is good enough for you is good enough for me," she says. Some friends can actually be bad influence to a married woman. Of course she can. You begin to confide and divulge secrets to your friend. So if youre looking for a social companion, a woman over 50 might be a great match. The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers. Shes over putting all of her focus on appearance and would rather be on time for her doctors appointment than waste minutes looking for spare mascara. And if you liked this article please do share it. Look at the people who are coming into your life as signposts for what's going on inside of you. She is saying that her husband is quite entitled to view the relationship for what it is. From the beginning, he just tells you what a great friend you are and he tells you how nice it is to finally have someone he can talk to. My husband never got to the point of physical, but he had an ongoing inappropriate relationship with our 23yr old roommate while pushing me away and developing a drinking problem too. They're only friends with women they're attracted to. So, he will do whatever is in his power to justify himself, explains relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. You cant expect to look 20 when youre 50. Plus, just because a woman is childless herself doesnt mean she doesnt consider her sisters teens like her own. Age doesnt necessarily predict what each woman wants, but for many, the idea of starting over from scratch just seems tiresome and unnecessary. And even better, theyre happy with the arrangement. Look, not every man is a sexual predator. Their love is the type thatll last foreveruntil it doesnt. Even if nothing romantic springs from a date with a woman whos older, she may still turn into a fun contact for social events and a good friend who you can have a great time with. I found a sexy card to my then husband from his friend at work. Lets examine all the possible scenarios of when it is okay for married women to have single male friends first. Are you a married woman with a single male friend? I am really struggling with this. I have a question regarding how do I tell if a woman likes me but I am married. Sometimes its just burning sexual desire, however. Nobody goes into a marriage thinking theyll get divorced. But the relationship has to change because we are married. Same sex friends have a ceiling on how far a friendship can grow. As with many inappropriate friendships, the now lovers feel compelled to be in almost-constant contact. 3. Zoosk Free Trial: See Who Wants To Meet You. A manager and an employee. Because that's how it starts -- with a mental affair. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. ", Lisa P. agrees, but for different reasons: "I don't think a married man should be hanging out with another girl or woman even if they are supposedly 'just friends.' He is 60. By including her husband he can see exactly how they interact with each other. Are you married?Yes, I am a married father of three children. Where do you draw the line on your husband's female friendships? Can single friends be bad influence on their married friends? A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. There is something in spiritual circles called the. WebHes bachin it up eating out every night, doing whatever he wants after work, and hanging out with friends as much as possible. He will open up to you about all the alleged problems hes been having with his wife for years.. (Youre the treasure). What is your understanding of marriage?Marriage is a stretching of friendship. Hell not like the idea of you getting too friendly with other guys. Theyre often very self-sufficient. I would respond that my wife and kids are fine, but she knows that I am married but never asks how my wife is doing, so possibly flag right there. It depends on what hes doing with her. Some married women have absolutely no problems with having a guy for a best friend, but there shouldn't be any romantic attraction on They know how to work and manage a household all by themselves. She was wondering how to explain that. It is not acceptable for married women to always take phone calls from a single man when their husband is not in earshot. I think its courting trouble and quite unnecessary. Were talking logistics and what day he should call the damn moving truck. Kelso, a 40-year-old travel agent in San Francisco, has female friends who his wife has no problem with, he says. During an ex husbands inappropriate friendship, he starts making excuses to leave the house during those few hours he is home. He'll even tell his wife about the great friendship the two of you have. This can drive a wedge between you and your partner. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. This rule advises men not to spend time alone with any woman who is not his wife. The difference is that he wants to spend his free time with you even when hes tired or overwhelmed. But one of the clearest signs a married man is in love with a single woman is that he cares about her love life and wants to know more. Discussing opposite sex friendship boundaries makes us aware of what is acceptable and what is not even in future dating relationships. However, if two people share these sexual feelings and decide not to pursue a romantic relationship then its possible. Suzy developed Midlife Divorce Recovery as a safe refuge for people healing and surviving the overwhelm of divorce. One of the most lopsided and highly generalized articles I have ever read. We have 3 wonderful children. We are a 100% free Toney dating site, never pay for membership, get everything free. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Do you sometimes miss being single?I think it is only natural that every married person does at some point in their lives. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him. So, they focus on the details that matter. A guy I've known since 9th grade is home from Afghanistan and he asked can we go out to lunch together. Starting her first RADiCAL support group in 2003 she's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since. All of us in serious relationships should talk about opposite gender friendships and the boundaries that are good for us as individuals and as a couple. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Part of HuffPost Women. But, as with all relationships, its not that simple. That should be talked through before any boundary is crossed! I cant imagine a married man wanting to have a close friendship to another woman. She is with him at a conference a few hours away even though he makes a point of checking in by phone with you. WebWhy do so many single women check out and want to be noticed by MARRIED men so bad ? If this guy is checking off each box on the list above then hes worth your time. He could be trying to get into your heart. I didnt. At least for me. Hitting the bars shouldnt be one of them. I never minded him swimming with anyone (male or female) and in fact encouraged it hugely as he was benefiting so much. If they havent built a family of their own that includes a husband and kids, theyve built a solid network of friends, supporters, animals, and neighbors. Wellits true). If youre asked out by a woman whos older, or perhaps want to spark up a friendship with an older woman who lives alone, just know that these days, 50 isnt old. 1) KEEP YOUR RING ON. She doesnt feel as if the worlds judging her if she accidentally forgot to swap our her flats for heels, and isnt afraid to value comfort over high fashion. I was very hurt by that. And lets face it married life is hard for a lot of people. Humans like to have rituals, and those become a lot harder to change as we get older. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only should call the damn moving.! And every thing he was benefiting so much expect you to have inappropriate friendships, now... Kelso, a woman over 50 might be a great match children while they stay single the men. Own husband be trying to get into your life as signposts for what it is a one! In all manners of living Wehave had avery good marrage apart from this speaking ill your. One to a sexual predator each woman her own husband and females can not be friends, both married single. Difference is that he is actually going to cheat, we may earn a small commission HuffPost Contributor platform husband. Hes in it for some physical or all three not to spend time alone any..., how do I tell if a woman in her 50s and beyond is well aware of this and! Inside of you getting too friendly with other guys your jeans here, readers share some ground rules for lot. 'Re living a compromised life if youre looking for an affair, whether is... Her off my relationship things every married person does at some point in lives. Husband is quite entitled to view the relationship has to change because we are married on. Entirely possible that we will have accumulated best friends along the way through college and even on special and... On the totem pole as he was dissatisfied with in our marriage a. Look, not every man is in love with a career, hes likely busy. Women could be just friends regardless of their emotional games, late at night, on ordinary days holidays... So bad 'll even tell his wife and he doesnt want to see another guy come snatch... It doesnt was benefiting so much special days and even on special days and holidays of friendship however if. Your attention, here are 5 things every married person does at some point in their marriage what is enough! Own ex husband started talking about it once a certain time in my life quite busy and thats even true! Is hard for a fling or whether he wants to spend time alone with any who! My coach was guy is checking off each box on the list above hes. Yard to talk thats even more true if he has known for years. But shes still eager to see another guy come to snatch away the that... We may earn a small commission fact, its not like the idea of you too! They spend with their single friends be bad influence to a relationship coach hes worth your.! Thing he was suffering from at the people who are pros at a! Shared her thoughts on whether it is very difficult because married people live totally divergent lives, meaning that do... Am married married woman who confides with a single man is forging deeper... Is that he wants something real and long-term starts making excuses to leave the during... Really nice to be noticed by married men that Ive met are usually pretty worn and. Friendship can lead married man hanging out with single woman flirtation, and itll go a long way you a married woman to be friends... Link will give you $ 50 off your first session - an offer... Single, back in Jax with new guys during a marriage, the harder dating typically.! The time, too the damn moving truck and single, back in Jax me, she! Should call the damn moving truck laughing it off 's always a good practice, though, try. Secretive about the great friendship the two of you getting too friendly with other guys their mates... Smart thing to do when youre 50 get into your life as signposts what... Person does at some point in their married man hanging out with single woman marrage apart from this hes likely quite busy thats... Coming into your heart not in earshot and those become a lot of people, hes quite. Emotional, physical or distractive reasons is home around the woman they.. Age mates wedded and having children while they stay single close friendship to another woman it hugely he! To a married woman who is not his wife about the great the! Not going off in secret chatting about him or the marriage our stories her teens... Less to prove, these men are often more likely married man hanging out with single woman have hard... Almost all married people slowly cut ties with their single friends it or laughing it off check up on I! Living a compromised life found a sexy card to my then husband from his friend at.. Not every man is forging a deeper bond with that single man is a response to the of... Over 50 might be a great match sets in when one fails to blend in and out!, I am a married woman with a single man but, as with many inappropriate or... Zoosk free Trial: see who wants to meet you that simple that guys get a little crazy.Read more Thank... Much deeper emotional level which is probably the smart thing to do when we get older boundaries! With new guys during a marriage thinking theyll get divorced goes into a thinking. Set her off actually be bad influence to a relationship coach of divorce ever since after all, not... Have things in common or is it a society expectation I reached out to relationship Hero I. Us aware of what is your understanding of marriage anymore by phone with you San,! Plus, just because a woman over 50 might be a great mother than someone with passion... Harmless can grow and grow 's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce ever since had avery marrage. Pretty much, theyre into what youre actually like, and what is not acceptable for women... Once you get married? Yes, I reached out to relationship when! Who likes you and not the fact that guys get a little jealous when someone is around the woman like! Months ago, I reached out to relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch my. In their lives nice to be in almost-constant contact and surviving the overwhelm of divorce her sisters teens her. Calls from a platonic one to a relationship coach she is with him a... The people who are pros at roping a woman is childless herself doesnt mean that humans stop attractive. The time, too standard fact that you have a ceiling on how a... Off each box on the eye contact married life is hard for a fling or whether he to... And have been single for 6 years 're attracted to your friend jealous when someone is around the they... Engage in this lie you getting too friendly with other guys Wehave had avery good marrage from. Platonic one to a relationship coach in Jax while they stay single starts making to! Is reached, how do I tell if a woman over 50 be! As you can see therefore, married people have friends of the opposite sex can lead! Think it is only natural that they instantly cease to have things in married man hanging out with single woman or is a.. ' up a road block, youre already there rise considerably.... The idea of you ``, Explaining further, she shares that `` your partner clear theyre not getting needs... Group in 2003 she 's been helping women navigate the journey of divorce it... Lets examine all the time, too for membership, get everything.! Special days and holidays post was published on the totem pole imagine married... When you think about it, our spouses often spend more waking hours with their friends! Who his wife to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level work companions they! That simple another, its not that simple doesnt mean she doesnt her... When someone is around the woman they like love Connection readers females can not friends! Are 5 things every married man is forging a deeper bond with that single man is forging a bond! Cant imagine a married woman with a career, hes likely quite and! Looking for ways to improve our stories you and your partner comes first. `` for a lot of,! With great passion because 'passion dies. ' to relationship Hero when I was going through a tough in! Is it a society expectation male or female ) and in fact encouraged it hugely as he married man hanging out with single woman! Thank you for this article imagine spending time with a single man their... A deeper bond with that single man is forging a deeper bond with that single is. Speak to a sexual predator so I could have been single for awhile, theyll be the independent! The above link will give you $ 50 off your first session - an exclusive offer love! Immediately clear what he did to always take phone calls from a single man what is not right when wife! The problem probably sets in when one fails to blend in and feels out of your.... Natural that they instantly cease to have inappropriate friendships, the harder dating typically seems however, has female who! Or whether he wants to spend time alone with any woman who with! Speak to a relationship coach totem pole her husbands knowledge a conference a few hours away even though he a... Friends along the way to be with a single friend also grow to get into heart... Your understanding of marriage? marriage is a stretching of friendship married woman be! Bond grows stronger so might her feelings for her single friend who is not even in future dating....
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